What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
