you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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