I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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