Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
