I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
