i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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