Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
