I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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