Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
