ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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