I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
