I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
My ass is underappreciated
A+ Viking dick
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
