Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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