Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I lost the right to judge tonight
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
