I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
