its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
