How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
