u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
We were destined to go to rehab together
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
