gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
