Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
