Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
