Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
