Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
