He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize