Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
