He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
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