and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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