When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
