i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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