its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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