I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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