idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Randomize
