Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
farters have to be the big spoon...
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I need moral support for this bender
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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