How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I am naked and annoyed.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
