She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
cat food counts as protein by the way
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
