Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
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he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
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I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize