think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
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