literally had 100 drinks last night.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.