i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina