Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(706): View more from Georgia

You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over

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(706): You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over http://tfl.nu/x2t5

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(605): View more from South Dakota

I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before

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(605): I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before http://tfl.nu/b07w

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(912): View more from Georgia

you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.

(919): View more from North Carolina

That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.

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(912): you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet. (919): That explains the puddle of pee in my closet. http://tfl.nu/tfvg

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(707): View more from California

I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight

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(707): I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight http://tfl.nu/5bl0

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(561): View more from Florida

Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.

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(561): Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game. http://tfl.nu/593t

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(325): View more from Texas

The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am

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(325): The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am http://tfl.nu/kqzx

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(719): View more from Colorado

Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am

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(719): Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am http://tfl.nu/os55

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(315): View more from New York

JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...

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(315): JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room... http://tfl.nu/oonq

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.

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(610): At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch. http://tfl.nu/wzxh

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(407): View more from Florida

and now there are teeth marks on my dick.

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(407): and now there are teeth marks on my dick. http://tfl.nu/97y3

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(337): View more from Louisiana

I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...

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(337): I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job... http://tfl.nu/0251

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(514): View more from Quebec

please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him

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(514): please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him http://tfl.nu/t57p

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(915): View more from Texas

Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired

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(915): Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired http://tfl.nu/r2a7

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(760): View more from California

Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself

(760): View more from California

Though I typed a half of that one

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(760): Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself (760): Though I typed a half of that one http://tfl.nu/upbv

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(631): View more from New York

My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that

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(631): My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that http://tfl.nu/insc

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