when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize