In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
This toilet bowl is my home.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
