I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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