Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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