yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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