You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
