Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
