he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
