She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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