I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
