I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
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