btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
