Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
