I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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