My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
