while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
