He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
We left the knife in your bed.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
