You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
