Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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