just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
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Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
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I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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