He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Randomize
