this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
