yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
