I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize