OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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