is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
